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Tag Archives: Peace

“I Am” 30-Day Challenge #11

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heart-lovelight

I am celebrating 52 years of life!! That’s a long time to live with life’s ups, downs, and everything in between. I’m thankful for the life I’ve lived and the beautiful promises that tomorrow brings. Happy birthday to me today, but happy new day every day that I wake with good health and total peace.

#30DaysofIAm

“I Am” 30-Day Challenge #10

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image

I am grateful for the peace that pours from my soul. I may not have all the designer bags and shoes, the fancy new cars with shiny rims, or the bling on my wrists and hands, but I have the most valuable gift that only God can give and that is PEACE! I wouldn’t trade this for all the gold and silver in the world.

#30DaysofIAm

“I Am” 30-Day Challenge #7

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standing tallflower

I am a healed survivor living in peace. Being a survivor is not enough. Surviving trauma precedes healing. Once healed, then one can begin new life. Then, one waits for the peace that passes all understanding. Then peaceful living begins.

#30DaysofIAm

Prose Challenge Inspired by The House on Mango Street

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Time to write prose. Sandra Cisneros’, The House on Mango Street, inspires this challenge.

Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 11.43.34 AM

The Real House

I didn’t always live on Weybridge, Don Tomaso, Canterbury, Nordhoff, or Citrus. Before that, I lived on Don Felipe, Mommie’s street. Before that, in a small house next door to my grandmother’s house on 4th Avenue. That house, I don’t remember. I had less than two years of life there. I remember our house on Mommie’s street because that’s where we made the best memories.

The house on Mommie’s street was home. Where childhood was forever, family love unconditional. I didn’t have to pay bills or change diapers, and no babies depended on me. I was the baby. I did my homework at the kitchen table while Mommie made burgers. Piano banging interrupted quiet evenings at home.

I left our house on Mommie’s street because it was my turn to go. Go somewhere to begin my own life, my own family, make my own memories. I lived in a shoebox-size dorm before a series of apartments. When I wanted some place to call mine, a real house, I moved to Weybridge, half the size of The Real House filling my imagination. The house I believed would be mine had levels, gardens, walk-in closets, and a large private pool next to a bubbling waterfall. It didn’t have a cloudy pool all my neighbors abused with their spit and germs floating in it. It didn’t have a gated entry and rusty lounges smudged with dirty stickiness.

The Real House would easily accommodate family visitors or out-of-town guests. They would not have to sleep in hotels around the airport and UBER their way through the city. Its bedrooms cozied us, the kitchen kept us, and the landscape loved us.

The Real House is on a grassy hill overlooking my old house on Weybridge, Mommie’s house on Don Felipe, and the clatter of crowded urban chaos. It overlooks walls decorated in graffiti and garbage-stained sidewalks.  The Real House crowns a quiet street that winds. Winds up to serenity, to neighbors who love one another and share baked cakes and pies when it isn’t a holiday. Winds up to gardeners who carefully tend to our gardens more than their own; who speak and smile because we speak and smile first. Winds up to walking trails, meditation fountains, and peaceful prayer paths.

The Real House is there when my eyes are closed. But it hasn’t shown itself to me yet, when my eyes are open.

Day 29 of The 30-Day Poem

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Day 29

_DSC2021

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.

Like the innocence

of a child

believing

nothing could be better than

popsicles

cotton candy

and rose-scented

grandmas.

Like the love story

with an ending happier

than I imagined

Like my favorite song

playing in rotation

forever

Like cookies baking

and I never have to hide

any

for

me.

Taking back

what is rightfully mine

looking back

only to smile

pushing back

worry or fear

standing back

as you go.

I deleted

pages

chapters

stanzas

that bled through bandages of lies

to write my new song lyrics

after our last goodbyes.

Day 28 of The 30-Day Poem

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Day 28

standing tallflower

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.

Like the innocence

of a child

believing

nothing could be better than

popsicles

cotton candy

and rose-scented

grandmas.

Like the love story

with an ending happier

than I imagined

Like my favorite song

playing in rotation

forever

Like cookies baking

and I never have to hide

any

for

me.

Taking back

what is rightfully mine

looking back

only to smile

pushing back

worry or fear

standing back

as you go.

Day 27 of The 30-Day Poem

No Gravatar

Day 27

file7601267334526

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.

Like the innocence

of a child

believing

nothing could be better than

popsicles

cotton candy

and rose-scented

grandmas.

Like the love story

with an ending happier

than I imagined

Like my favorite song

playing in rotation

forever

Like cookies baking

and I never have to hide

any

for

me.

Day 26 of The 30-day Poem

No Gravatar

Day 26

DSCN9606

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.

Like the innocence

of a child

believing

nothing could be better than

popsicles

cotton candy

and rose-scented

grandmas.

Day 25 of The 30-Day Poem

No Gravatar

Day 25

DSCN3117

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.

Day 24 of The 30-Day Poem

No Gravatar

Day 24

brokenheartwall

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my own womb

preparing

to push

my way down

the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.