Naked Reflections The Shamelessly Sensual Blog

Tag Archives: Truth

End of School Year Reflection: Sort of Funny Naked Truths

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This school year went fast

Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun

No

I’m glad I am done

It was hard

Stressful

Demanding

Sometimes downright insane.

I have never looked older or more tired

Than I did this year

My hair is so gray

It looks like spiders have nested across my scalp

And the spider veins in my legs creep like grapevines

My crow’s feet are longer than the side of my face

And I have pains in my stomach from all the chips I ate

And from waistbands on pants rearranging my insides.

I averaged 6 hours of sleep 5 days per week

Woke up at 3:27 a.m. to contemplate choking my cat

And contemplating with sincere intentions on how to tell a child

That cheerleading isn’t shaping her bright future

If she can’t multiply.

I wondered why one boy came to school angry

Another one so dirty he left smudges on his work at the start of the day

And several who cried at the sound of correction

Teaching and learning both require correction

So some days I chose my battles and won

Other days I lost.

In addition to my students, their needs and mine

My commitments to two university apprentices lived between my eyebrows

Watching new teachers teach and guiding their practice

Resemble teaching a baby to walk, throw a fast pitch, and speak 3 languages simultaneously.

Throughout this time, my students took on multiple personalities

I did not always know who was who and what was what

Elements of surprise lingered

Cupcakes showed up without prior approval

Birthday cakes delivered without knives for cutting or plates for plating

Text messages asked what time school dismissed

Daily university emails demanded feedback on positionality and equity

Immediately I wondered if my position was actually an imposition.

Students inquired why I wasn’t doing Middle School Day

Hmm.

Middle School Day required me to

be 3 different teachers

with 3 different accents

for 3 different subjects

I did that

My students just didn’t know it.

I apologized

To myself if I wasn’t spectacular enough

To my students if I hurt anyone’s feelings

Or didn’t make them feel special

To my body and soul for wearing them out.

Every school year is different

Every class has their unique spirit

Every summer

I detox

I rejuvenate

I become an aquaholic

I worship God and my gifts

And ask Him to heal me and renew me

In time for my new class.

If He doesn’t

He will retire me.

 

 

Pieces of Peace Poetry #5

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Screen Shot 2016-04-05 at 8.23.10 PM

Pieces of Peace To My Truth

What did I know about truth

at 2

or 22

What did truth sound like

Did it laugh in the dark under blankets

then whisper

Did it wrap itself around your eyes

then cry

What did truth love like

Did it hug away brokenness

then heal

Did it look itself in the mirror

then smile

What did I know about truth

at 32

42

or 52

What did truth hurt like

Did it smother like fire

then die

Did it speak like scripture

then breathe

Into my life

a peaceful joy?

 

 

 

 

 

“I Am” 30-Day Challenge #28

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Screen Shot 2015-11-28 at 11.45.17 AM

I am seeking truth

Flawless Camouflage

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Screen Shot 2015-10-04 at 7.22.33 PM

Behind flawless camouflage

lives

an unarmed soldier

naked

ashamed

of truth

wearing steel smiles

undetected metal

guarding her heart

joy-entrapping

black blinders

closed

until truth

gets leaked

between dreams

written in the dark

and words whispered

in the light

 

 

 

 

 

The Last Day of The 30-Day Poem

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Day 30

sunrays

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.

Like the innocence

of a child

believing

nothing could be better than

popsicles

cotton candy

and rose-scented

grandmas.

Like the love story

with an ending happier

than I imagined

Like my favorite song

playing in rotation

forever

Like cookies baking

and I never have to hide

any

for

me.

Taking back

what is rightfully mine

looking back

only to smile

pushing back

worry or fear

standing back

as you go.

I deleted

pages

chapters

stanzas

that bled through bandages of lies

to write my new song lyrics

after our last goodbyes.

Magical melodies

resound

on the wings of my heart’s hope

on sighs of a quiet wish

on halos of light

now dancing

all around me

in

victory.

Day 29 of The 30-Day Poem

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Day 29

_DSC2021

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.

Like the innocence

of a child

believing

nothing could be better than

popsicles

cotton candy

and rose-scented

grandmas.

Like the love story

with an ending happier

than I imagined

Like my favorite song

playing in rotation

forever

Like cookies baking

and I never have to hide

any

for

me.

Taking back

what is rightfully mine

looking back

only to smile

pushing back

worry or fear

standing back

as you go.

I deleted

pages

chapters

stanzas

that bled through bandages of lies

to write my new song lyrics

after our last goodbyes.

Day 28 of The 30-Day Poem

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Day 28

standing tallflower

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.

Like the innocence

of a child

believing

nothing could be better than

popsicles

cotton candy

and rose-scented

grandmas.

Like the love story

with an ending happier

than I imagined

Like my favorite song

playing in rotation

forever

Like cookies baking

and I never have to hide

any

for

me.

Taking back

what is rightfully mine

looking back

only to smile

pushing back

worry or fear

standing back

as you go.

Day 27 of The 30-Day Poem

No Gravatar

Day 27

file7601267334526

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.

Like the innocence

of a child

believing

nothing could be better than

popsicles

cotton candy

and rose-scented

grandmas.

Like the love story

with an ending happier

than I imagined

Like my favorite song

playing in rotation

forever

Like cookies baking

and I never have to hide

any

for

me.

Day 26 of The 30-day Poem

No Gravatar

Day 26

DSCN9606

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.

Like the innocence

of a child

believing

nothing could be better than

popsicles

cotton candy

and rose-scented

grandmas.

Day 25 of The 30-Day Poem

No Gravatar

Day 25

DSCN3117

I’m giving myself a chance

to dance again

to smile

or cry

thawing frozen feelings

reviving dead emotions

I never meant to bury.

Finding my gift of happiness

where welts warped its golden shroud

bows untied

releasing quiet pleasures

once trapped and tangled

stifled in shame

hearing my own laughter

I’ll never be the same.

Holding my hands

in prayer

holding my breath

in fear

holding my own

in preparation

for the day when you

finally fly

solo.

In the spirit

of loving forgiveness

I always pray

because anger

begets blocks

to blessings

to peace

to freedom

And I refuse to be silenced

noosed

bound

or trapped

behind the roars

of the

wounded.

Somewhere between

love and time

I fell into

darkness

between tics

and tocks

we

muted

the truth.

But as scripture says,

“The truth shall set you free,”

I also believe

that lies will keep you caged

and muddle

your life

in madness

in anxiety

in chaos.

God

loves me

enough

to

uncage me

and

soothe me

in

His perfect peace.

He will never

leave

me

and will not ever

forsake

me.

Does my face

show

secrets you hoped

no one would ever

know?

Or have I kept your

rusted anchors

down

low

where

genuine, honest, compassionate, kind, forgiving

love

should grow?

Being honest

with myself

permits me to accept

each time

your words cut

each time

my heart cried

each time

I believed

your lies

and knew some day

you’d see.

With open eyes

and clarity

my steps

leave prints

on new paths

toward destinations

where no hesitation

no condemnation

no frustration

can impede

what is meant to be

for me.

Sometimes

I feel God in the driver’s seat

holding me under His wing

around every turn

every hill

up or down

Then there are those moments

when His silence prevails

waiting for me

to take the wheel

and I know

He trusts me

when I drive.

I’m taking care of me

designing my future

painting pictures

in vibrant colors

writing poems

with high-definition

emotions

and looking in my eyes

without tears.

No more black-out years

no more financial fears

no more eggshells

to walk on

no more

denying me

for you.

I can’t be what I once was

I can’t become

who I’m destined to be

unless I replace

the life I can’t live

with one that

I can.

My new normal

embraces mornings

smiles in sunshine

heals after prayers

and tucks me in

layers

of

love.

I never knew

the power of preferred silence

meditating on the moment

listening to musical heartbeats

and sleeping soundly

in my own peaceful rhythms.

Waking to prayers of gratitude

sparkles of dust

dance on morning sunbeams

reminding me of spirits

that moved

while I slept.

Hate when my dreams

still spit fire

because it means

my sanity sessions

remain mandatory

until I awaken

to white smoke.

So many anticipations

of uncertainties

of victories

of falling facades

and sandcastles I kicked over

rebuilding belief

in the power of loving

myself.

In my private womb

preparing

to push

way down

through the canal

where renaissance

awaits.

My heart will beat melodic rhythms

and new favorite songs

will color rainbows

on walls

where faded pictures

of my old story

once hung.

I won’t ever deny

28 chapters

of my truth

with plot twists

and characters

who change

amidst a climax

of unexpected endings.

My spirit thrives

while carrying burdens

while covering inadequacies

while choking back tears

while building walls

that eventually come

tumbling

down

my spirit thrives.

Like the phoenix

rising

like the sun

I ascend

in a pink-ribboned sky

of limitless

possibilities.