
We were tasked today to dig into our junk drawers to find our inspiration!
Ode to Teaching and Learning Online
If teaching online
Could enrich young minds
I’d front line it
If Zoom morning meetings
Could beat in-person greetings
I’d co-sign it
If novel studies in G-Suite
Could light mind fires like Hot Seat
I’d design it
If blurry faces in gallery view
Could bring joy and love like hugs do
I’d refine it.
If “3 Quick Tips” in weekly office hours
Could beat a teacher’s superpowers
I’d enshrine it.
If I’m forced into remote teaching
Could mean there’s no one I’m reaching?
I’d decline it!!
But if our lives aren’t worth saving
And the virus continues its graving
Retirement? Maybe I’ll find it.
My friend said he’s still having nightmares
After 23 years teaching
I thought
Every year of my entire teaching career
Before returning to my classroom
BTSNs devour my sleep
I’ve misplaced my classroom
I can’t talk when the students say hello
All the preparation is suddenly gone
My shoes are missing
I wore pajamas instead of my new clothes
A boy hits me and I hit him back
The principal decides to fire me
My lunch is rotten
My car is stolen
My alarm awakens me
I’m thinking I’ve found my car
But all I find is it’s time to wake up
And I haven’t even
Fallen asleep
The Urban Dictionary says that hustle is
to have the courage, confidence,
self-belief and self-determination
to go out there and work it out
until you find the opportunities you want in life.
My full-time hustle is teaching children
Teaching novice teachers is my part-time hustle
I have to keep going.
Facing my students
praying for my students
preparing my students
to go out there
with courage, confidence,
self belief and self-determination
to find the opportunities
they want in life.
I have to hustle for them
not just for me
because by the time they graduate high school
and by the time they get their teaching credentials
someone will have said
they can’t do it, won’t have it, shouldn’t dream it
and someone will try to wash the color from their hearts
and build steel cages around their freedom
and distract their perseverance
until they can’t even utter a syllable of success.
But I will push the hustle into them
like it was pushed into me
and I will thank them for sticking with it
like they thanked me for not giving up on them.
#keepitreal2018
This school year went fast
Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun
No
I’m glad I am done
It was hard
Stressful
Demanding
Sometimes downright insane.
I have never looked older or more tired
Than I did this year
My hair is so gray
It looks like spiders have nested across my scalp
And the spider veins in my legs creep like grapevines
My crow’s feet are longer than the side of my face
And I have pains in my stomach from all the chips I ate
And from waistbands on pants rearranging my insides.
I averaged 6 hours of sleep 5 days per week
Woke up at 3:27 a.m. to contemplate choking my cat
And contemplating with sincere intentions on how to tell a child
That cheerleading isn’t shaping her bright future
If she can’t multiply.
I wondered why one boy came to school angry
Another one so dirty he left smudges on his work at the start of the day
And several who cried at the sound of correction
Teaching and learning both require correction
So some days I chose my battles and won
Other days I lost.
In addition to my students, their needs and mine
My commitments to two university apprentices lived between my eyebrows
Watching new teachers teach and guiding their practice
Resemble teaching a baby to walk, throw a fast pitch, and speak 3 languages simultaneously.
Throughout this time, my students took on multiple personalities
I did not always know who was who and what was what
Elements of surprise lingered
Cupcakes showed up without prior approval
Birthday cakes delivered without knives for cutting or plates for plating
Text messages asked what time school dismissed
Daily university emails demanded feedback on positionality and equity
Immediately I wondered if my position was actually an imposition.
Students inquired why I wasn’t doing Middle School Day
Hmm.
Middle School Day required me to
be 3 different teachers
with 3 different accents
for 3 different subjects
I did that
My students just didn’t know it.
I apologized
To myself if I wasn’t spectacular enough
To my students if I hurt anyone’s feelings
Or didn’t make them feel special
To my body and soul for wearing them out.
Every school year is different
Every class has their unique spirit
Every summer
I detox
I rejuvenate
I become an aquaholic
I worship God and my gifts
And ask Him to heal me and renew me
In time for my new class.
If He doesn’t
He will retire me.
The conclusion of the 2010-2011 school year comes at the end of this week, and I am truly thankful. I am not sad, I am overjoyed. I know that it has been one of the toughest years in my 25 year career, but I also know that I have given it all I possibly could give. I have only done what I have always done, and that is work within my calling. I am a servant of God. He chose me to teach, that is one of my gifts, and I teach with 100% determination, perseverance, and purpose. If my students faltered in any way, there is peace in knowing that I did all that I could do, each and every day.
I had a discussion with my principal recently. I expressed concern that educators today are not equipped or trained to deal with the changing generations we are teaching. Somewhere along the way, children became technologically responsive, but personally disconnected. Somewhere along the way, children were given what they wanted, but never had to work hard to earn anything. Somewhere along the way, parents allowed their children to disrespect their teachers because these children were imitating their parents. Somewhere along the way, teachers were expected to continue to reach, teach, love, guide, nurture, plan, facilitate, and educate regardless of the types of children they were given. This is what I have done, and for that reason, I am overjoyed to see the conclusion of this school year ahead of me. Although I am not trained to deal with the changing generations, I am highly trained and effective at doing what God gave me to do.
I know that in a matter of weeks, the fire will be reignited. The fire that calls me to the classroom in the Fall with new ideas, fresh materials, and a rekindling of desire will burn on high to make a changing generation believe the unchanging dedicated teacher!
This was our first week back to school. I was eager and excited, as always, to see and meet my new students. I sensed the anticipation of a new and rewarding school year in the air as my students walked into their new classroom. They were smiling, nervous, and showing signs of relief, as they learned that I would add unexpected humor and fun to diminish their stress throughout the day.
As the first and second days of school concluded, I had that conversation in my head that I have every single year: “Do you see what I see?” As a parent of a son and a daughter, I have kept my eyes open to signs of struggle, signs of success, and any signs that may have indicated that either of them needed more than just a nudge to get through school. They have both completed high school and are continuing their educations in college. Struggling from time to time, but nonetheless, they have pushed through obstacles and asked for support when needed. As a teacher for 25 years in elementary education, I keep my eyes open the same way for my students, but I have to ask every year, “Do you see what I see?”
Parents are special, as are their children. Many times, I have had parents who tell me that their child is not the same at school as they are at home, and they are shocked when I tell them their child is wonderful!!! Then, quite often, I have had the parent who says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, my child doesn’t do anything like this at home.” This response follows my question, “What can I do to help your child to perform and succeed, because at this point he/she is showing signs of serious struggle and conflict in my classroom?” “Do you see what I see?” Of course not! According to the parent, this child goes home, does chores, does homework and then loses it before returning to school, speaks respectfully to parents, and shows responsibility and love in the household. They are just not doing as they’re told at school, and they don’t know why or what to do about it. Thus, they tell the child to stop being lazy and to apologize to me for not doing the right thing!
What am I to do when the parent does not see what I see and does not think there could be anything wrong? What am I to do when a child says he doesn’t care if he never gets any rewards because they don’t matter? What am I to do when a child says she doesn’t do her work because it’s not fair that she has to do it??
What am I to do when a child has full academic potential and ability, but the rage that distracts him from my positive intentions overpowers him and speaks louder than any of my lessons?
My husband says I will figure it out, I always do. My sister says that there should be someone at the school who can help kids who struggle like this. My mother says she feels sorry for me and hopes it gets better. My coworkers all say to focus on the positive, keep reaching out to the parents, and know that one day that child will remember what I tried to do.
I say, “Do you see what I see?”
I believe that some children have become immune to the realities of our school system because they’re immersed in a virtual world that allows them to change their virtual reality with the simple click of a thumb on a plastic controller. I believe that if I’m not careful, I might say or do something that triggers the mental device to delete me from their consciousness. I guess I need to put myself on a video game and teach through technology. I need to show them how to conjugate verbs, solve for the variable in algebra, identify the causes/effects of war, and value the empowerment that human suffering had on the building of our country! Should I do this through degrading music, violence, and superhuman powers that defy all mankind?
DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?