This school year went fast
Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun
I’m glad I am done
It was hard
Sometimes downright insane.
I have never looked older or more tired
Than I did this year
My hair is so gray
It looks like spiders have nested across my scalp
And the spider veins in my legs creep like grapevines
My crow’s feet are longer than the side of my face
And I have pains in my stomach from all the chips I ate
And from waistbands on pants rearranging my insides.
I averaged 6 hours of sleep 5 days per week
Woke up at 3:27 a.m. to contemplate choking my cat
And contemplating with sincere intentions on how to tell a child
That cheerleading isn’t shaping her bright future
If she can’t multiply.
I wondered why one boy came to school angry
Another one so dirty he left smudges on his work at the start of the day
And several who cried at the sound of correction
Teaching and learning both require correction
So some days I chose my battles and won
Other days I lost.
In addition to my students, their needs and mine
My commitments to two university apprentices lived between my eyebrows
Watching new teachers teach and guiding their practice
Resemble teaching a baby to walk, throw a fast pitch, and speak 3 languages simultaneously.
Throughout this time, my students took on multiple personalities
I did not always know who was who and what was what
Elements of surprise lingered
Cupcakes showed up without prior approval
Birthday cakes delivered without knives for cutting or plates for plating
Text messages asked what time school dismissed
Daily university emails demanded feedback on positionality and equity
Immediately I wondered if my position was actually an imposition.
Students inquired why I wasn’t doing Middle School Day
Middle School Day required me to
be 3 different teachers
with 3 different accents
for 3 different subjects
I did that
My students just didn’t know it.
To myself if I wasn’t spectacular enough
To my students if I hurt anyone’s feelings
Or didn’t make them feel special
To my body and soul for wearing them out.
Every school year is different
Every class has their unique spirit
I become an aquaholic
I worship God and my gifts
And ask Him to heal me and renew me
In time for my new class.
If He doesn’t
He will retire me.